Do It Yourself
by BananaGirl
Summary: Trunks needs someone to make sure his parents conceive him as he is busy at a 'Lilac Hair Convention' and chooses a 15 year old girl obsessed with him. How will she cope pretending to have amnesia to get close to Vegeta/Bulma and make sure they 'do it'?
1. Trunks' Real Fan

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
"Why do I get all the insane 'I-love-you-so-much-I'll-kill-for-you' fans?" Trunks asked himself as he flew from Japan to USA (A/N: Damn he's fast!)  
  
"Really? Aw, that sucks. Ok then, are you sure you'll be alright? Good, I'll talk to you tomorrow then. Yeah, bye." A 15 year old girl with stomach-length black hair said, before hanging up the phone.  
  
"Here goes nothing." Trunks took as deep breath as he approached the light blue, one story house with a one-car garage. He crashed through the window he hoped was the girl's.  
  
"Eeep! Holy shit, do you have a gun? I'm warning you, I have a brown belt in Taekwondo and fucking hell you look like Trunks!" TRF said in one breath, her green eyes displaying a mixture of fear and confusion.  
  
"I am Trunks and I need a favour." Trunks asked, dusting himself down.  
  
"Yeah right, and I'm a big ginger cat that can talk, has three legs and no nose. Hey, I just described Krillin!" TRF stated, pleased with herself.  
  
"Yeah." Trunks said, blinking in confusion. "Now, back to that favour."  
  
"Trunks wants to ask me a favour! Wow! I'm in heaven!" TRF said, resting her head against a Trunks poster clad wall.  
  
"Well, I'm busy so I need you to go to the DragonBall Z world to make sure my parents conceive me." Trunks explained.  
  
"Why? Where you going? Why me?" TRF asked.  
  
"I'm going to a 'Lilac Hair Convention' to help me with my unstability caused by my hair."  
  
"But your hair is so pretty!" TRF said, stroking Trunks' hair.  
  
"Anyway." Trunks said, pulling his hair from TRF's grip. "I chose you because you're the most obsessed me fan around and I can't have Vegeta fans or Goku fans running around, forgetting why they're there."  
  
"I see." TRF mused this over. "Ok, I'll do it! If it means you becoming sane and stable enough to marry me, then I'll do it Trunks-Chan!"  
  
"I'm never going to marry you, you know that right?" Trunks asked.  
  
"That's what they all say, Trunksy. That's what they all say." TRF said.  
  
"One question; what does 'TRF' stand for?" Trunks asked.  
  
"Why you silly Saiyan you! 'Trunks' Real Fan' of course! Now are we going or what?" TRF said, beginning to walk out of the door.  
  
"Why was I born so damn hott?" Trunks asked, picking up TRF and flying out of the window. 


	2. Oh yeah, I have amnesia- I forgot.

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
"Do you know what I find scariest? Not that I've just flown into the DragonBall Z dimension with Trunks, not that you came flying through my window sending shards of shattered glass across my room, not that I have to convince Bulma and Vegeta that they're perfect for each other, or at least get them to 'do it', the thing that scares me is the fact that you've been into my house and took a bag of my clothes." TRF said, once Trunks had set her down.  
  
"What? It's not like I was perving!" Trunks said defensively.  
  
"I wouldn't blame you if you were, Trunksy." TRF said, winking at him.  
  
"Eugh, I'm glad I'm not staying here." Trunks muttered.  
  
"Charming." TRF muttered.  
  
"Shhh!" Trunks hissed as he heard whistling, grabbing TRF he threw them both into a bush.  
  
"I knew you wanted me. It was sooooo obvious." TRF whispered from inside the bush.  
  
"I have to go. That's Goku. Um.pretend you were attacked. Oh, and you cannot let anyone know you're not from this dimension and that you know whats going to happen in the future, got it?" Trunks asked.  
  
"Got it. Me attacked, from this dimension and don't know about Big Bad Buu and stuff." TRF nodded.  
  
"They already know about the androids, so just don't mention anything about that. Right, I'm going." Trunks said, flying off.  
  
"Psssh, don't say 'bye' or anything." TRF muttered, rubbing some mud onto her face for dramatic purposes. "Here goes nothing."  
  
"Doo, doo, doo." Goku sang to himself as he walked past the bush.  
  
"Owwww." TRF's voice came.  
  
"What's that?" Goku asked to himself, looking around.  
  
"Ouch. Help me, someone help me, please." TRF groaned, crawling out of the bush.  
  
"Are you OK?" Goku asked, noticing the girl.  
  
"No, I have mud all over me because I'm part of a tribe." TRF said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, OK." Goku said, walking away.  
  
"No, no! Wait! I was joking!" TRF called after him.  
  
"Oh! Hahahaha, I don't get it." Goku scratched his neck.  
  
"Nevermind, Go-od stranger, just help me please." TRF said, quickly covering up her mistake and praying Goku hadn't noticed her slip-up.  
  
"Sure." Goku said, helping TRF to her feet. "What's your name?"  
  
'Oh crap. I can't tell him! He'll ask what it stands for and then they'll be suspicious for sure!' TRF thought to herself. "Uh.I don't remember."  
  
"Huh? How can you not.did you hit your head? That happened to me once! I forgot loads of important things! Don't worry, I'll take you to my friend. Her name's Bulma, she'll know what to do." Goku said, lifting TRF up and taking flight.  
  
"Y-y-you can fly!" TRF said, pretending to be shocked.  
  
"Oh yeah. It's pretty easy, I'll teach you sometime. Lots of my other friends can fly too. I fight aswell, I'm a Saiyan!" Goku explained.  
  
"Oh cool." TRF said. "I mean; what's a Saiyan?"  
  
"Oh, we're warriors with incredible strength and we can turn into monkey's." Goku said proudly. "We have tails, but mine got cut off."  
  
"Wow, I've never heard of anything like that before." TRF said. 'Wooo, I make a great actress!' She thought to herself.  
  
~*~ (Capsule Corp.)  
  
"Hey Goku! Who's your friend?" Bulma asked, emerging from the dome building as Goku landed.  
  
"I don't know." Goku answered.  
  
"You don't know? Goku, I don't think Chi Chi will be too pleased about this." Bulma warned.  
  
"It's nothing like that, Bulma!" Goku blushed. "She's hit her head and doesn't know her name!"  
  
"She has amnesia? We better get her inside then!" Bulma said, ushering them both in.  
  
"Onna! Onna, where is my breakfast?" A large voice pounded around Capsule Corp.  
  
"In the oven!" Bulma screeched. "Sorry about that, it's just." Bulma began apologising to TRF for the noise.  
  
"It's burnt!" Vegeta thundered, approaching Bulma, Goku and TRF. "Who is this?"  
  
"We don't know Vegeta!" Goku said cheerily.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you, baka."  
  
"Whats it to you Vegeta? If you must know, she has amnesia so she doesn't know herself." Bulma informed him.  
  
"What a baka. She's almost as bakana as Kakkorrot!" Vegeta scoffed, storming out of the room.  
  
"Stupid Vegetable Head!" Bulma called after him. "Sorry about that, he's a jackass."  
  
"Its alright." TRF said, an uneasy look crossing her features. 'I guess it's not going to be so easy to pair them two up.'  
  
"Um, do you have anywhere to stay?" Goku asked.  
  
"No. Well, I don't remember."  
  
"You can stay here then." Bulma confirmed. "Here, I'll show you to your room."  
  
"OK." TRF agreed. 'Yes, Trunks is going to be so proud that'll he'll wanna marry me for sure.' TRF grinned to herself. 'Now all I have to do is make sure he's actually born!' 


	3. Who The Hell Is Bobbelina?

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
"Good morning, Vegeta." TRF said, walking into the kitchen.  
  
"How do you know my name?" Vegeta demanded, scrutinizing TRF.  
  
"Um.Bulma told me." TRF said.  
  
"Why are you up so early?" The Prince demanded, rather than asked.  
  
"Early? What time is it?" TRF asked, getting some cereal from the cupboard. Bulma had shown her around yesterday. 'Hmmm, he's talking a lot, for him anyway. He obviously doesn't trust me. Great, that's just great.' She thought to herself.  
  
"Five am." Vegeta's curt reply came. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Five in the morning?" TRF asked, picking up the box she had just dropped. "I guess I mustn't have gotten used to the time changes just yet."  
  
"What?" Vegeta demanded.  
  
"Heehee, did I just say time changes? It's slang for.um.when you can't sleep." TRF stumbled.  
  
"Hmph." Vegeta muttered, leaving the kitchen.  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." TRF said, hitting her head on the wall.  
  
"I thought I'd just tell you, I'm not as stupid as that fool Kakkarot. Nor am I as gullible as the onna." Vegeta called, closing the door behind him.  
  
".Stupid, stupid, stupid." TRF muttered, continuing on her self- assault.  
  
~*~  
  
"So, Bulma, what do you think of Vegeta?" TRF asked, hoping to get some background information.  
  
"Vegeta? Why?" Bulma asked, looking at TRF strangely.  
  
"No reason. Just wondering." TRF shrugged, wondering which was the best approach to ask if they'd had sex yet.  
  
"You know, I think we should really give you a name. What about Bobbelina?" Bulma offered.  
  
"Bobbelina?" TRF asked.  
  
"What's wrong with that?" Bulma demanded, a look in her eyes telling TRF not to disagree.  
  
"Huh? Oh nothing, it's just.ow!" TRF said, doubling over in pain.  
  
"Bobbelina, are you alright?" Bulma asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, it's just.I've remembered my name!" TRF said gleefully.  
  
"Oh." Bulma uttered disappointedly. "That was odd. What is it?"  
  
"TRF!" TRF stated proudly.  
  
"TRF?" Bulma asked in the same tone TRF had used earlier.  
  
"Yes." TRF said curtly.  
  
"Oh, that's a nice name I suppose. I still prefer Bobbelina." Bulma stated, setting the table for dinner.  
  
"Bitch." TRF muttered under her breath.  
  
"Who's a bitch?" Vegeta asked as he entered the kitchen, smirking, as he knew TRF didn't want Bulma to hear it.  
  
"What?" Bulma demanded, looking at TRF.  
  
"Oh, heehee, that'd be me. I always do that, talking to myself. You're such a pussy! No I'm not, you are! Oh shut up! Ha, don't have anything to say to that do you?"  
  
"Um.OK." Bulma said, looking slightly scared.  
  
"Oh, I thought you were calling onna a bitch for a moment there." Vegeta smirked, making things worse.  
  
"Is this true, Bobbelina?" Bulma shrieked.  
  
"Bobbelina?" Vegeta asked with a hint of amusement.  
  
"Uh.yeah, that's my name." TRF muttered, giving in. 'Better stay in Bulma's good books.'  
  
"I chose it for her." Bulma stated proudly, causing Vegeta to burst out laughing. "What's so damn funny?"  
  
"You are." Vegeta said simply.  
  
"What? You.you.stupid monkey!" Bulma yelled, causing her face to flush.  
  
"Uh.guys, I'm sure we can."  
  
"Better than being a stupid, worthless, weakling of a human!" Vegeta shot back.  
  
"Ugh! You are such a bakayaro!" Bulma shrieked.  
  
"Ikeike." Vegeta replied, his face remaining impassive.  
  
"Hello? No need to shout." TRF said, trying to keep the peace.  
  
"Who the hell's shouting, Bobbelina?" Bulma shouted.  
  
"Silly me, I thought you were." TRF said, leaving the kitchen. "Damn, this is going to be hard, pairing those two misfits up."  
  
"Which two misfits?" Goku asked as TRF bumped into him. 


	4. One Minor Detail; She Has A Boyfriend!

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
"Misfits? What misfits?" TRF asked, racking her brain for a good cover-up.  
  
"The ones you were talking about." Goku said, munching on an apple.  
  
"Oh, those misfits." TRF said, walking past Goku. "Cya later!"  
  
"Wait, aren't you going to tell me?" Goku asked, looking suspicious.  
  
"Long story, tell ya about it later!" TRF said, running out of Capsule Corp. and bumping straight into Piccolo. "Whats with everyone bumping into me today?"  
  
"You bumped into me." Piccolo stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Psssh, yeah right Green Man." TRF muttered.  
  
"Who the hell are you anyway?" Piccolo asked.  
  
"This is 'Bobbelina'. She has 'amnesia'." Vegeta said as he approached the two.  
  
"Why thank you." TRF said, shooting a glare at Vegeta.  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Stupid Vegetable Head." TRF muttered.  
  
"Talking to yourself again, are we?" Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Shut up! And for your information I do have amnesia!" TRF said.  
  
"I never said you didn't." Vegeta replied.  
  
"You implied it!"  
  
"You're implying that I implied it!" Vegeta shot back at TRF, neither noticing Piccolo had left.  
  
"Am not! I know from your tone!" TRF said.  
  
"Calm down, 'Bobbelina'." Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Get over yourself!"  
  
"Not until you tell me why you're really here." Vegeta demanded, grabbing TRF's wrist and twisting it.  
  
"Ow! That hurts!" TRF said, turning her body in time with the wrist to lessen the pain.  
  
"It's supposed to." Vegeta smirked. "So tell me, 'Bobbelina', why are you here."  
  
" Let go of my fucking wrist and I'll tell you, bitch!" TRF hissed at the pain.  
  
"Well?" Vegeta asked, letting go of her wrist.  
  
"Like I said, I'm here because I've forgotten where I'm from as I have amnesia." TRF smirked as Bulma came outside.  
  
"Vegeta! Leave Bobbelina alone! It's scary enough for her without your face scaring her any furthur!" Bulma shouted.  
  
"Yeah, Vegetable Head." TRF whispered, before Bulma could hear her. "Ow, my wrist." TRF said, rubbing it.  
  
"Vegeta! What have you done?" Bulma demanded.  
  
"I was just about to get the truth out of this lying little."  
  
"Vegeta, just leave her alone!" Bulma warned, guiding TRF back into Capsule Corp.  
  
"Yeah, Vegeta, leave me alone." TRF said, sticking her tongue out at him.  
  
"Kusotarre." Vegeta said, stomping back to the Gravity Room.  
  
~*~ (TRF's Room)  
  
"Right, I need to grill Bulma about Vegeta and vice versa, then hopefully it should all be a lot easier." TRF said, looking at the plan she'd created. "I'll leave Vegeta to cool down. Bulma!" She called, taking a drink of water.  
  
"Yes Bobbelina?" Bulma asked, poking her head through the door.  
  
"Can we talk? I'm feeling lonely." TRF lied, ignoring the fact that Bulma was still calling her 'Bobbelina'.  
  
"Sure." Bulma smiled, entering the room. "What about?"  
  
"Oh just stuff. Like, what other friends do you have? I've met Piccolo, Goku and Vegeta already. You do think of Vegeta as a friend don't you?" TRF said, sliding the question in subtly.  
  
"Vegeta? Hmm, I suppose I do. He can be a dickhead, but yeah, I guess I think of him as a friend. Although I'm not sure I trust him entirely." Bulma said.  
  
"Hmmm, trust." TRF muttered, writing it down into her plan sheet once Bulma wasn't looking.  
  
"As for my other friends there's Chi Chi, oh you must meet her." Bulma said.  
  
"Can't wait." TRF said sarcastically, although Bulma didn't pick up on it.  
  
"And there's Krillin, Gohan who is Chi Chi's son, Tien and Yamcha-my boyfriend." Bulma smiled at the mention of Yamcha's name.  
  
"Y-your boyfriend?" TRF said, spluttering on her water.  
  
"I'm surprised he hasn't been over today." Bulma frowned, taking a look at her watch.  
  
'Fuck, I forgot about him. Lazy Mirai Trunks, why can't he do it himself?' TRF thought. "What about Vegeta, don't you think he's handsome?"  
  
"What? I think he's a bit old for you." Bulma trailed off.  
  
"N-no, I didn't." TRF said, choking on her water once again.  
  
"Ah well, I have to go. Yamcha's here." Bulma said, once she heard the beep of a horn.  
  
"I don't fancy Vegeta!" TRF called after Bulma, but she'd already gone.  
  
"That's nice dear." Mrs Briefs said, as she was passing the door.  
  
"Ack." TRF groaned, writing 'Yamcha' in big, bold letters on her plan sheet. "Looks like I'm making a trip to the GR." 


	5. Do It Yourself!

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, especially the people who also review my OFUD fic, it means a lot!  
  
"Hmmm.I wonder what this button does.whoops." TRF grinned, as the gravity room shut down.  
  
"What the fuck? Who the hell turned the gravity off?" A sweaty and frustrated Vegeta demanded as he exited the Gravity Room.  
  
"I dunno, some kid, he went that way. Now you're not busy, mind if we talk?" TRF asked hopefully.  
  
"Yes." Vegeta replied curtly, turning to switch the GR back on.  
  
"I have muffins." TRF said, waving the plate of double chocolate chip muffins Mrs Briefs had just made under the Saiyan's nose.  
  
"They smell good." Vegeta murmured, closing his eyes as he took in the scent.  
  
"They taste even better." TRF said, temptingly.  
  
"Fine, you may talk while I eat, just don't expect a response." Vegeta said, grabbing the plate and sitting down.  
  
"So, Vegeta, what do you think of Bulma?" TRF asked, getting straight to the point.  
  
"The onna? She is loud, arrogant, annoying, obnoxious and can't cook." Vegeta replied simply, shoving a few muffins into his mouth.  
  
"Oh, so I guess you really like her then?"  
  
"What's it to you, 'Bobbelina'?" Vegeta asked, getting suspicious.  
  
"Oh, nothing. I just think that Bulma's really pretty. She'd make a good mate, don't you agree?" TRF asked.  
  
"Uh.I'm not sure the onna swings that way. She has a boyfriend." Vegeta said, seriously.  
  
"What? Oh no, I don't."  
  
"Lunch!" Bulma's shrill voice called.  
  
"Besides, I think she's a bit old for you." Vegeta finished, handing the plate to TRF and walking to the kitchen.  
  
"I don't fancy Bulma!" TRF called after him, but he'd already disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
"That's nice, dear." Mrs Briefs said, whilst watering the flowers.  
  
~*~  
  
"Whats wrong, Bobbelina? Not hungry?" Bulma asked, noticing TRF playing with her food.  
  
"Huh, you're talking to me?" TRF asked, looking surprised.  
  
"You're name is 'Bobbelina', is it not?" Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Um.well technically it's TRF.but Bobbelina's fine." TRF quickly retracted her statement as Bulma glared at her.  
  
"I think she is hungry, it's just your cooking doesn't qualify as food, onna." Vegeta smirked as Bulma's face flushed in anger.  
  
"Bobbelina, is this true?" Bulma demanded.  
  
"What? Oh, no! Not at all! It's delicious!" TRF said, forcing down a mouthful of the burnt cooking.  
  
"Onna, I think you have an admirer." Vegeta smirked as TRF choked on her food.  
  
"Oh really?" Bulma asked, interest suddenly sparking.  
  
"Yes, and it's not your baka boyfriend either. Its seems that."  
  
"I'll get it!" Bulma interrupted as the phone began to ring.  
  
"Asshole, I don't fancy Bulma!" TRF hissed.  
  
"Why not? You said it yourself, she is pretty." Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Oh, so you think she's pretty?" TRF grinned, writing 'Vegeta- Bulma pretty' on her hand.  
  
"What? No, I never."  
  
"Bobbelina, it's for you. But, for some reason, they think you're still called TRF." Bulma called to TRF, interrupting Vegeta once again.  
  
"Maybe that's because it's my name." TRF muttered under her breath. "Moshi moshi?" TRF asked tentatively. 'Cool, I've always wanted to try that!'  
  
"TRF?" A disguised voice asked on the other end.  
  
"Uh.yeah. Who's this?"  
  
"Trunks."  
  
"Oh hiya! Hows the convention going?" TRF asked, quietening her voice as Bulma and Vegeta were trying to eavesdrop.  
  
"It's great, I never realised there were so many lilac haired people around. How's things going with you?" Trunks asked.  
  
"Terrible! Bulma is still dating Yamcha!" TRF hissed.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So? So? What do you mean so? It makes it a lot more difficult!" TRF whispered.  
  
"I never said it was easy!" Trunks defended himself.  
  
"Then do it yourself!" TRF shot back. "They're calling me frickin' Bobbelina!"  
  
"What?" Trunks gasped out between fits of laughter.  
  
"Its not funny, Trunks! And I keep slipping up! Goku keeps hearing me talking to myself, and knows something is wrong! He's not stupid!"  
  
"He's not?" Trunks asked in mock surprise.  
  
"This is no time to joke, Trunks. I'm serious, I."  
  
"I got to go. Bye." Trunks said quickly, before hanging up.  
  
"Eugh. Lazy, purple-haired freak. Didn't even have time to talk about the wedding." TRF muttered, hanging up.  
  
"Who was that?" Bulma inquired.  
  
"Oh, just someone trying to sell me something." TRF shrugged.  
  
"OK. I'm not going to be in tonight, Yamcha's taking me out." Bulma smiled.  
  
"Again?" Vegeta and TRF asked in unison.  
  
"He is my boyfriend."  
  
"Good, then the blonde onna can cook. It tastes better." Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Sorry, Vegeta. Mom and dad are out, you'll have to cook for yourself. Have fun!" Bulma called, grabbing her bag and leaving.  
  
"Onna! Get back here! I am not cooking!" Vegeta called after Bulma.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me! I can't even use a microwave!" TRF said, holding up her hands.  
  
"Who's Trunks?" Vegeta smirked.  
  
"OK, dinner for two then?" TRF muttered. 


	6. The Instructions Didn't Say Anything Abo...

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, especially the people who also review my OFUD fic, it means a lot!  
  
"What kind of house is this? Don't even have a recipe on how to cook for Saiyans!" TRF muttered, opening and slamming cupboards shut.  
  
"TRF, is the food ready?" Vegeta demanded, entering the kitchen.  
  
"I haven't even started it yet, Vegetable Head, so don't.hey, you called me TRF!" TRF looked around.  
  
"It is your name, is it not?" Vegeta asked.  
  
"Uh.yeah, it's just you called me Bobbelina before." TRF shrugged.  
  
"I'm not sure Bobbelina is even a name." Vegeta shuddered. "So, you remembered your name? When was this?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, when Bulma was talking about names. She wanted to call me Bobbelina and all of a sudden I remembered my name!" TRF said, the conversation topic making her uncomfortable.  
  
"Wow, well that is a coincidence. Tell me, how old are you?"  
  
"Um, fifteen, why?" TRF asked, getting suspicious at Vegeta's sudden talkativeness.  
  
"Oh, did you just remember that now?" Vegeta smirked, sarcasm dripping in his voice.  
  
"What? Oh.um.I remembered it when I remembered my name." TRF said hurriedly.  
  
"Hmm.how strange." Vegeta mused.  
  
"Whats so strange about it?" TRF snapped, taking cheese and whipped cream out of the refrigerator.  
  
"Just that you never mentioned it to the onna. It may help her get your memory back.if you really lost it that is."  
  
"Listen here, Vegetable Head, I did tell Bulma for your information so drop it!" TRF yelled, getting some eggs.  
  
"What are you doing?" Vegeta asked, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Making your dinner! Whats it look like?" TRF said, wiping her forehead.  
  
"I don't think you can put eggs in the blender."  
  
"And when was the last time you cooked?" TRF asked, waiting for a reply. "Exactly what I thought!" TRF finished, adding lettuce and whipped cream to the eggs in the blender. "Here, grate this cheese."  
  
"What with?" Vegeta demanded, looking at the block of cheese in his hands.  
  
"Well duh, a grater!" TRF said.  
  
"The Prince of all Saiya-jins does not grate cheese!" Vegeta said, looking shocked.  
  
"Well excuse me, your majesty, but if you want to get fed you will!" TRF hissed, getting pissed off.  
  
"Hmm." Vegeta uttered, as he began to grate the cheese.  
  
"Hmm what?" TRF snapped.  
  
"Aren't you going to ask me what a Saiya-jin is?" Vegeta asked.  
  
"Nope, Goku told me!" TRF said, grinning when Vegeta didn't reply.  
  
"Doesn't it scare you?"  
  
"What? Your face? It does, I'm just too polite to say anything." TRF replied.  
  
"No, bakayaro, the fact I can kill you with a flick of my wrist." Vegeta smirked.  
  
"You could, but you won't." TRF retorted.  
  
"Oh? And why's that?" Vegeta demanded.  
  
"Because you never do. I've watched all the saga." TRF trailed off, covering her mouth.  
  
"What was that?" Vegeta demanded, knowing he'd caught her.  
  
"Nothing!" TRF said cheerily, turning the blender on before Vegeta could reply.  
  
"Kisama!" Vegeta roared, as the yellow liquid splattered everywhere.  
  
"Well it doesn't say anything about a lid!" TRF retorted.  
  
"You bakana, chibi." Vegeta trailed off, approaching TRF with his arms ready to choke her.  
  
"Wait! You wouldn't kill me, oh mighty Prince of all Saiyans, would you? I can order pizza! Yum, you like pizza don't you?"  
  
"No." Vegeta hissed, edging closer.  
  
"We can go to Chi Chi's! She cooks nice.or so I've heard!" TRF screeched, closing her eyes. "Chi Chi's?" She asked, opening an eye.  
  
"Fine." Vegeta said.  
  
~*~  
  
"Um, hi Goku." TRF said as Vegeta set her down.  
  
"Hi! You're just in time for dinner!" Goku called.  
  
"See!" TRF called back to Vegeta. "Hey Goku, wait up!" TRF called, running after him as Vegeta growled.  
  
"Goku, who's your friend?" Chi Chi asked, looking at TRF suspiciously.  
  
"Hi, I'm TRF. I have amnesia, but I remembered my name earlier today."  
  
"And your age." Vegeta added.  
  
"Oh, hello Vegeta." Chi Chi said coldly.  
  
"Kakkarot's mate." Vegeta nodded.  
  
"Anyway, I'm staying at Capsule Corp. but everyone has gone out and neither me nor Vegeta can cook so I was wondering."  
  
"Oh, you must stay for dinner!" Chi Chi cooed, ushering TRF inside. "You aswell, Vegeta." Chi Chi said, her tone becoming lower. 


	7. What Kinda...Uh...Stuff?

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, especially the people who also review my OFUD fic, it means a lot!  
  
"Wow Chi Chi, this is the best banana sandwich I've ever tasted!" TRF complimented.  
  
"I'm surprised you remember." Vegeta muttered, digging into his chicken and rice.  
  
"Aw, thank you." Chi Chi smiled. "I must admit, I've never actually made a banana sandwich before."  
  
"Oh, well you did an excellent job!" TRF polished off her sandwich and watched in awe as Goku and Gohan devoured everything in sight in under ten seconds. Vegeta was slightly more reserved, and kept glancing at the other Saiyans in disapproval.  
  
"So, where is it Bulma went?" Chi Chi inquired.  
  
"Somewhere with her boyfriend, Yamcha, I think it is." TRF wrinkled her nose in disapproval.  
  
"You don't like him?" Goku asked, shocked.  
  
"Well.I haven't actually met him. He just sounds dodgy." TRF covered.  
  
"It seems to me someone is jealous." Vegeta smirked, leaving the sentence hanging.  
  
"Who's jealous?" Goku asked.  
  
"Well, it would seem." Vegeta began.  
  
"Haha, no one, Goku. Vegeta's just being funny, he's a real comedian, right Vegeta?" TRF said, sending a glare his way.  
  
"Hmph." Was all that Vegeta said.  
  
"Hey, um, Goku, can we talk?" TRF asked.  
  
"I am not waiting here while you have a pleasant little chat with Kakkarot!" Vegeta spat.  
  
"Fine, Vegetable Head, leave!" TRF challenged. "Hey! When I say 'leave' I didn't mean leave!" She called after the Saiyan Prince.  
  
"It's OK, I'll take you back to Capsule Corp. What did you want to talk about?"  
  
"Um.it's kinda private."  
  
"Oh. Chi Chi, I'll be a minute." Goku called to his wife.  
  
~*~  
  
"Uh.you remember that guy?" TRF asked, once her and Goku were far enough away.  
  
"No." Goku looked confused.  
  
"The one with purple hair?"  
  
"Oh him! Who told us about the androids?"  
  
"Yeah well, he was kinda busy so he asked me to take his place." TRF took a deep breath, not sure whether she should divulge her mission to Goku.  
  
"His place in what?" Goku asked looking confused again.  
  
"To.um.get Bulma and Vegeta to.uh.do stuff." TRF shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Stuff? What kind of stuff?" Goku asked, not understanding.  
  
"Stuff as in.stuff!" TRF emphasised the last 'stuff'.  
  
"Oh! That kind of stuff!" Goku exclaimed, happy he had caught on.  
  
"Uh.yeah, and it's kinda hard so."  
  
"Hold on, why would Vegeta and Bulma want to.um.do stuff?" Goku asked innocently.  
  
"I don't know! Maybe they're feeling randy or something?" TRF offered. "Anyway, I need you to."  
  
"But why would Bulma want Vegeta to do.uh.stuff with?" Goku asked. "What about Yamcha?"  
  
"I know, which is why I need your help! We need to break Bulma and Yamcha up!"  
  
"That's not very nice." Goku didn't look too happy with that prospect.  
  
"Well, I doubt Bulma's gonna do.uh.stuff with Vegeta when she's still doing.uh.stuff with Yamcha!" TRF hissed, getting exasperated. "Unless the rumours about her on the net are true."  
  
"What rumours?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing, heehee." TRF said, giving Goku a convincing smile.  
  
"So, you're from the future then?" Goku asked.  
  
"Um.yeah, you could say that."  
  
"Do you know us in the future?" Goku asked, getting interested.  
  
"You could say that.yeah. Anyway, back to Vegeta and Bulma. Will you help me?" TRF asked.  
  
"Help you do what?" Goku asked, quickly forgetting what they'd been talking about.  
  
"Getting them to fuc.uh, do stuff." TRF yelled.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I don't have to watch or anything do I?" Goku asked, looking slightly worried.  
  
"God, I hope not." TRF shook her head at the nasty mental image invading her head.  
  
~*~ (Capsule Corp.)  
  
  
  
"Stupid light." TRF groaned, as the light shined through her window and woke her up. "Anyone would think it was morn.eep!" TRF fell out of her bed.  
  
"Morning dear!" Mrs Briefs called cheerfully.  
  
"Uh, hey." TRF said, removing a strand of black hair from in front of her eyes.  
  
"Breakfast is nearly ready. Normally, I wouldn't wake you but Vegeta seems awfully hungry today." Mrs Briefs smiled.  
  
"Oh, OK then. Thank you." TRF said, rubbing her ass where she fell onto the floor. She quickly shed her clothes and stepped into the shower, the warm water caressing her tired body. Switching off the faucet, she dried herself and dressed herself with clothes from her bag. Brushing her teeth and twisting her stomach-length hair into a braid, she put on some trainers and went into the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning." Bulma called cheerfully, from where she was reading the morning newspaper.  
  
"I'm sure it is." TRF replied moodily, her butt still hurting from where she fell so she chose to stay standing. "Have a nice night with Yamcha?" TRF asked, hoping she didn't sound too obvious.  
  
"Oh yeah, it was great! He took me to see this new film, then we went dancing and it was so.."  
  
"Thanks for sharing." TRF rudely cut Bulma off, pissed that she'd had such a good time.  
  
"What did you do last night?" Bulma asked, putting TRF's moodiness down to her not being a 'morning-person'.  
  
"Why don't you ask Vegeta? He really missed you." TRF grinned.  
  
"Aw, did you miss me?" Bulma asked, this time directing her question to Vegeta.  
  
"Like a hole in the head." Vegeta replied.  
  
"Well, I didn't miss you either!" Bulma shot back.  
  
"Thank Kami for that."  
  
"You arrogant dickhead!" Bulma fumed.  
  
"Stupid bitch."  
  
"Son of a."  
  
"Woah, woah, woah!" TRF yelled over the noise. "This is not how friends talk to each other."  
  
"I don't have friends." Vegeta shot back.  
  
"Well I wonder why that is, Mr Personality!"  
  
"Heehee, can't we just talk about this? I mean, you're both just tired. Lets hold hands and sway! Can you feel the love in the room? Can you feel the love?" TRF said, quickly running out of ideas.  
  
"Yeah, go train, like you always do. Spineless monkey!" Bulma called after Vegeta, who'd left to the GR.  
  
"Aw, Bulma I'm sure you don't." TRF was cut off by the doorbell. 'Things can't get any worse.'  
  
"Yamcha!" Bulma squealed.  
  
"Hey, babe." Yamcha greeted.  
  
'I guess I'm wrong, again.' TRF thought to herself. 


	8. Well I'll Be Damned

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Hey peoples! As always, thanks for the reviews! Here's Chapter 8!  
  
"Pssst! Over here! Pssst, Goku!" TRF hissed.  
  
"Huh? Oh, hey TRF!" Goku grinned and waved.  
  
"Well there goes being subtle." TRF muttered. "You busy?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I was going to spar with Vegeta. TRF? You there?" Goku waved his hand in front of her face.  
  
"Wha.? Oh yeah, I've just had a brilliant idea! Vegeta enjoys sparring with you, right?"  
  
"Well, he likes hitting me." Goku rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"Great!"  
  
"Why's that good? It's painful!"  
  
"No, I mean my plan will work perfectly." TRF grinned.  
  
"What's wrong?" Goku asked, as TRF began to growl and mutter curses under her breath.  
  
"I forgot one thing.Yamcha." She muttered, pointing to Yamcha and Bulma hugging.  
  
"Oh, that's a problem."  
  
"Sure is. Hey, you have great sense of smell, go smell Yamcha for me!"  
  
"What? I'm not doing that!" Goku's face took on a look of disgust.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that! I mean, smell him to see if he has.ya know.done.uh.stuff with girls other than Bulma." TRF said, remembering the various Bulma/Vegeta get together fics she'd read.  
  
"What? Yamcha wouldn't do that!" Goku defended.  
  
"Just try, OK? Remember, I'm from the future so I don't lie!" TRF said, watching as Goku digested this information. "Much." She added, hoping Goku didn't hear her.  
  
"Well I guess." He muttered, walking up to Yamcha.  
  
~*~ (TRF's Room- 2 hours later)  
  
"No one other than Bulma?" TRF demanded. "What about guys?"  
  
"TRF! There were no significant scents other than Bulma's!" Goku stated.  
  
"Hmmm, he doesn't beat her, does he? OK, Goku, chill!" TRF held up her hands defensively. "I guess fics really do lie then." TRF shook her head in amazement.  
  
"What are fics?" Goku asked.  
  
"Fics? Oh, they're a type of dog, yeah dog. They're a type of dog." TRF covered.  
  
"Oh." Goku uttered, hoping it was some type of food.  
  
"I've got it! Goku, you find Yamcha and tell him Bulma has a special dinner planned tonight at eight, OK? Oh, and he has to wear something valuable and expensive that he'd prefer not to get ruined."  
  
"Why?" Goku inquired.  
  
"You'll see." TRF grinned evilly, watching as Goku flew off to find Yamcha. "Oh Bulma!" She called, descending the stairs and looking around. "Where are you?"  
  
"I'm in the kitchen, Bobbelina!"  
  
"Oh right. Hi." TRF said, entering the kitchen. "I have a message from Yamcha." TRF noticed Bulma's eyes light up. She also noticed Vegeta, who was sat at the table, lift up his head sharply.  
  
"Really? What did he say?" Bulma asked excitedly.  
  
"Well, he wants you to meet him here at eight. He has a surprise planned. Oh, and wear your most expensive dress." TRF smirked, her plan was going perfect!  
  
"Really?" Bulma frowned. "Yamcha usually adds a poem to his messages."  
  
"He does?" TRF choked out. "Oh yeah, he does! He told me to recite it back to you!"  
  
"Well?" Bulma asked expectantly.  
  
"Uh." TRF tracked her brain. "It was something like; 'Bulma'. No, lemme start again." TRF coughed nervously. "He said;  
  
'Oh Bulma, your eyes are as blue as the.uh.sea, And your hair is as soft as silk, yeah silk. Oh won't you say you love me, And pour me a glass of milk.'" TRF finished uncertainly.  
  
"Hmph." Vegeta stood up abruptly and left.  
  
"Oh Yamcha." Bulma whispered, getting a dreamy look on her face.  
  
"So, you're coming?" TRF asked.  
  
"What? Oh of course! What time was it?" Bulma asked, the dreamy look leaving.  
  
"Eight, on the balcony."  
  
"Eight? Oh my goodness! It's already six, I better get ready!" Bulma panicked, running to her room.  
  
"You have two hours yet!" TRF called after Bulma, but the call came unheard. "Vegeta-Obsessed with Bulma?" TRF took out her notebook and wrote the comment down based on the events a moment ago.  
  
"Hi." Goku came into the kitchen.  
  
"Is Yamcha coming?" TRF demanded.  
  
"Yep. Eight, right?" Goku asked.  
  
"Yeah. Now, Goku, how good are you at cooking?" TRF asked.  
  
"Cooking?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I dunno.Chi Chi cooks for me." Goku said, puzzled.  
  
"Shit." TRF swore. "Looks like we're gonna get take-out. Um.know any Chinese places we can call?"  
  
"I think Bulma has a leaflet next to the phone."  
  
"OK." TRF nodded, grabbing the leaflet. "Hi, yeah, I'd like to order the spiciest and sloppiest thing on the menu. Oh really? Nah, I can handle it. Yeah I'm sure. Listen, just bring the goddamn food! Yeah, it's Capsule Corporation and I want it to be delivered at seven thirty. OK, thanks." TRF hung up the phone.  
  
"I don't think Yamcha likes spicy food." Goku said.  
  
"I know. Neither does Bulma." TRF rubbed her hands together evilly. 


	9. The Plan- Phase 1

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Hey everyone! Ooo, I can feel this fic coming to an end pretty soon, now that the plan is in action! As always, thanks for the reviews! Here's Chapter 9!  
  
"Here, here." TRF said, throwing some money at the delivery guy and taking the food. "Hurry up, Goku! We only have ten minutes."  
  
"You're really bossy." Goku muttered, setting the table and lighting two candles.  
  
"Hey, I don't have all year to get them together!" TRF muttered, setting the take-away onto some plates. "I think I'll add some of my own ingredients." TRF smiled, adding anything she could get her hands on.  
  
"I think Yamcha's allergic to that." Goku peered over TRF's shoulder, referring to the lemon.  
  
"Really?" TRF asked in surprise, chopping more lemon up. "He doesn't die when he eats it, does he?" She asked, rethinking her actions.  
  
"No, he gets this really bad rash and starts scratching a lot."  
  
"Good." TRF smirked.  
  
"You're not very nice." Goku stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Aw Goku, that hurt." TRF said sarcastically, putting a wine bottle of vinegar onto the table. "Breaking people up is never nice. Crap, hide!" TRF put the plates onto the table and dove under it after Goku.  
  
"Yamcha's here!" Bulma called cheerily, running to the door.  
  
"Hey, babe." Yamcha greeted.  
  
"Yamcha!" Bulma said, as if it was a surprise. "Come in!"  
  
"Wow, this looks nice." Yamcha looked at the table in approval.  
  
"Yeah, you should know." Bulma giggled.  
  
"Um.yeah." Yamcha said, not understanding what she meant.  
  
"Shall we begin?"  
  
"Sure." Yamcha said, pulling out Bulma's chair for her. TRF was sat under the table next to Bulma's chair.  
  
"Oof!" Bulma gasped as she fell on the floor as TRF grabbed the chair and pulled it away from her.  
  
"Sorry!" Yamcha helped Bulma up, thinking it was his fault.  
  
"It's OK." Bulma winced at the pain.  
  
"So." Yamcha began.  
  
"This looks." Bulma trailed off, putting a forkful of the food into her mouth. "Delicious." She forced.  
  
"Yeah, it is." Yamcha said, his face contorted into a mask of agony. "Wine?"  
  
"Please." Bulma gasped out, trying to hide the fact that her mouth was on fire. She gulped down her glass as soon as Yamcha had finished pouring it.  
  
"Ugh." Yamcha ran to the edge of the balcony and spat the 'wine' out.  
  
"What kind of wine is this? It's very." Bulma trailed off, inspecting the bottle to see why it had left a sour taste in her mouth. "Yamcha? Are you OK?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Yamcha replied, absentmindedly whilst scratching his arms.  
  
"OK." Bulma wiped her tongue on her napkin, trying to get rid of the foul taste.  
  
"Bulma, why the hell did you put lemon in this? You know I'm allergic!" Yamcha cried, his voice rather panicky upon inspecting the food.  
  
"What?" Bulma asked, surprised.  
  
"Look!" Yamcha pointed to the rash forming on his arms.  
  
"Yamcha, you should know better! You planned all this!" Bulma gestured to the scene around her.  
  
"What? I did not! You invited me!"  
  
"No I didn't! Only someone as tight as you could order wine that tasted like.like vinegar!" Bulma spat.  
  
"Tight? I am not tight! I should've known before tasting your cooking! You never did have any culinary skills!" Yamcha shouted back.  
  
"What? How dare you? Get out of my house, and take your cheap wine with you!" Bulma yelled, throwing the bottle at Yamcha's head.  
  
"You're the one who tried to poison me!" Yamcha yelled, narrowly missing the bottle. "Don't worry, I'm going!"  
  
"Ugh! Don't walk away from me!" Bulma yelled, following Yamcha off of the balcony.  
  
"You just told me to go, so I'm going! This damn rash!"  
  
"Good riddance!"  
  
"Well, that was a productive night." TRF smiled. "I am so good."  
  
"I feel awful." Goku said, a guilty look crossing his features.  
  
"Goku," TRF warned. "Don't you dare tell her!"  
  
"I'm going. Chi Chi's wondering where I am." Goku said, flying off.  
  
"Don't you dare!" TRF called after him, but it was too late.  
  
~*~  
  
"Uh.good morning, Bulma. Have a nice night?" TRF asked tentatively at the breakfast table.  
  
"No! That asshole Yamcha ruined everything! I can't believe I gave him five years of my life! The bastard!" Bulma spat.  
  
"Oh, what went wrong?" TRF tried to suppress a smirk.  
  
"Everything! Goku tried explaining this morning but."  
  
"Goku was here?" TRF asked, choking on a piece of toast.  
  
"Yeah, he told me everything." Bulma sighed into her coffee.  
  
"Well, I had good reason to sabotage the meal! I mean, Yamcha wasn't right for you. Trust me! You'll thank me later!" TRF pleaded.  
  
"Sabotage the meal?" Bulma asked confused.  
  
"Yeah, you said Goku told you about me and him ruining the meal on purpose to break you and.nevermind. Gotta go." TRF said hurriedly, getting up upon seeing Bulma's reaction.  
  
"You did what?" Bulma screamed, grabbing hold of TRF's arm.  
  
"I.it was all Goku's fault!" TRF yelled, pointing to Goku who had entered the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning. Woah, whats wrong Bulma?" Goku asked, dodging the various mugs and dishes that were thrown his way.  
  
"I'm sorry, Bulma! I'll tell Yamcha the truth!" TRF promised, closing her eyes on waiting for the impact of a mug.  
  
"It doesn't matter." Bulma sighed, sitting back down.  
  
"Yeah, I'm a bitch I.what?" TRF asked, thinking she'd heard wrong.  
  
"Me and Yamcha have been having problems before you arrived." Bulma muttered.  
  
"Oh." TRF said, a grin spreading across her face. "So, you were on the brink of a break up before the meal?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just waiting for the right moment to tell him. It turns out he felt the same way." Bulma shrugged.  
  
"So, technically the meal helped you to release your true feelings?" TRF said, her grin growing wider.  
  
"I guess you could say that." Bulma trailed off, looking at TRF suspiciously.  
  
"So, if the meal helped you, that technically means I helped you so really, instead of punishment I should get a reward!" TRF grinned triumphantly.  
  
"Oh no, I don't think so. You can start by cleaning up all the broken pottery while I think of a suitable punishment for you." Bulma smirked a very Vegeta-like smirk.  
  
"Now that was scary." TRF commented on the smirk. "Oh no, Goku. You can help me." TRF said before Goku could leave.  
  
"I've had enough of helping you!" Goku whined.  
  
"Yeah, but she was throwing the things at you! If you'd caught them, then I wouldn't have to do this." TRF grinned at her logic.  
  
"Fine." Goku sighed, getting a dustpan and brush.  
  
"You're too soft, Goku. You gotta learn to say 'no'!" TRF commented.  
  
"But you wanted me to help you, so if I would've said 'no', you'd be mad." Goku added.  
  
"Hmmm, good point. On second thoughts, you're not that soft."  
  
"See, I'm not as stupid as some people think!" Goku grinned happily. "Hey, Bulma, want us to sweep the whole kitchen? It looks kinda dirty."  
  
"Might aswell, Goku." Bulma said from where she sat at the table.  
  
"If you say so, Goku." TRF muttered.  
  
~*~ (1 hour and 15 minutes later)  
  
"Finished!" Goku grinned triumphantly.  
  
"Thanks." Bulma smiled.  
  
"Wow, that was hard work!" TRF panted. "It was so hard work that I'd call it.oh.a punishment." She emphasised the last word.  
  
"I wouldn't go that far." Bulma laughed at TRF's stricken face. "I've already decided your punishment." 


	10. The Plan-Phase 2 (AKA'Mmmm, Gingerbread ...

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Hey everyone! This is the second to last chapter! Here it is, Chapter 10;  
  
"This is so unbelievably boring." TRF complained, handing Bulma a file.  
  
"That'll teach you for interfering in my love life." Bulma grinned, opening the file.  
  
"What love life?" TRF muttered.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"You were supposed." TRF grinned, re-arranging Bulma's filing cabinet. "Anyway, why isn't Goku helping me? He was in on it aswell!"  
  
"He's busy training to save the world." Bulma said, not looking up from her work.  
  
"Yeah, any excuse." TRF muttered. "He's just lazy. Anyone can save the world, now arranging files takes skill!"  
  
"Of course it does, dear." Bulma said absent-mindedly.  
  
"So.where's Vegeta?"  
  
"I thought I told you," Bulma sighed. "He's too old for you!"  
  
"I keep telling you, I don't fancy him!" TRF blushed. "Besides, I'm engaged!"  
  
"You are?" Bulma dropped the piece of machinery she was working on.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Who to?"  
  
"Uh.you don't know him." TRF said evasively.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So.where is he?"  
  
"Training." Bulma replied, picking up the machinery.  
  
"Wow, you must know him pretty well to know where he is." TRF slid in.  
  
"It's always training with Vegeta." Bulma muttered.  
  
"Aw, you sound as if you miss him." TRF mused. "Do you miss him?"  
  
"Eh? He's only in the GR! Besides, why would I miss that monkey?" Bulma demanded, looking up from her work.  
  
"Well, in the five hours I've been here working, no subject has caused you to even glance from your work. I suddenly mention Vegeta, and you drop everything- literally." TRF grinned. She was exaggerating this, but Bulma didn't need to know that.  
  
"I did not! As if I'd drop everything for that arrogant, pig-headed, egotistical."  
  
"I rest my case." TRF smirked. "Uh.can I leave now? The files are arranged in ascending alphabetical order."  
  
"Yeah, sure, go." Bulma said, turning back to her work.  
  
"Oh, hey Vegeta." TRF burst into laughter when Bulma shot her head up.  
  
"Ugh!" Bulma threw a pencil at TRF. "I don't have a thing for that monkey!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Whoops." TRF grinned as she shut off the gravity. "Gotta remember not to touch that." She giggled to herself as she saw Vegeta fall over due to the sudden change in gravity.  
  
"Onna, what have.oh, its you." Vegeta narrowed his eyes at TRF as he opened the door.  
  
"Yo, Veggie! Sorry to disappoint you, I'm not Bulma." TRF grinned.  
  
"Hmph, I'm going back to training. Don't think those muffins will work on the Prince of all Saiya-jins twice."  
  
"I know, which is why I got Mrs Briefs to make gingerbread men!" TRF produced the plate of biscuity goodness from behind her back.  
  
"They smell nice."  
  
"Yep, fresh outta the oven." TRF grinned. "But.I'm afraid they're only for people who are coming to this party tonight." TRF snatched the plate away before Vegeta could pounce on it.  
  
"Hmph, you mistake me for Kakkarot, I am not a slave to food like that baka." Vegeta folded his arms snottily.  
  
"Aw, that's a real shame, Vegeta. I decorated one especially for you. Look, it's got Saiyan armour on!" TRF showed Vegeta the gingerbread man that looked unmistakeably like himself.  
  
"What are these?" Vegeta pointed to the gold buttons.  
  
"Oh, they're the buttons." TRF explained. "They're made out of gum drops." She waved the plate in front of him.  
  
"Gum drop buttons." Vegeta began drooling.  
  
"Well, I'm off to find the rest of the Z-senshi, to invite them to the party and give them these delicious and fresh gingerbread men."  
  
"I'll come to your party if it means so much to you!" Vegeta huffed, grabbing the plate of gingerbread men and disappearing into the Gravity Room.  
  
"Oh, this is gonna be good."  
  
"What is?" Bulma asked.  
  
"Holy shit and pie! Heh, Bulma, didn't see you there!" TRF smiled sheepishly.  
  
"What's gonna be good?" Bulma asked suspiciously.  
  
"Oh.um.TV tonight. Great viewing." TRF covered.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"What are you doing here?" TRF asked suspiciously.  
  
"Me? Oh, I was just.getting a wrench." Bulma knelt down and began rummaging through the toolbox next to the Gravity Room.  
  
"Oh.OK." TRF shrugged; ignoring the fact that Bulma already had a wrench in her hand. "Bulma, will you be in tonight?"  
  
"Should be, why?" Bulma asked, looking for the wrench that she already had in her hand.  
  
"No reason."  
  
~*~  
  
"Hi Trunksy!" TRF squealed into the phone, making sure no one else was around.  
  
"Uh.yeah, hi. Listen, I'll be their tomorrow, have you gotten my mom and father together?"  
  
"Uh.well, technically."  
  
"TRF!" Trunks wailed on the other end of the line.  
  
"Well, it's hard!" TRF defended herself. "Besides, they'll have 'done it' by tonight."  
  
"'Done it'?"  
  
"Why don't you Z characters ever know what I mean by that? I mean sex, OK? They will have had sex! Ya know, when a man and a woman."  
  
"Yes, yes, I get it. Now, make sure it works otherwise I won't be born." Trunks warned.  
  
"But.but.but how will we marry?" TRF sounded shocked.  
  
"We're not getting married, how many more times?"  
  
"Yeah, if you say so, Trunksy. I gotta go, bye future-husband!"  
  
"But I'm not." TRF hung up the phone before Trunks could finish.  
  
~*~ (Later that night)  
  
"Now, Goku, you won't mess this one up, right?"  
  
"I didn't mess up the last one!" Goku insisted.  
  
"If you say so." TRF shook her head. "Right, I think we're done." She stood back and admired her work. Everything was the same as when they were expecting Yamcha, but this time the food was Spaghetti Bolognese, minus the special ingredients a la TRF. The wine was actually wine, not vinegar and the mood was romantic. Well, as romantic as a teenage girl and a naïve middle-aged Saiyan could manage. "Someone's coming, hide!" TRF and Goku scrambled behind potted plants this time.  
  
"Hello, is anyone.wow." Bulma saw the table and food. "Aw, he's so sweet."  
  
"He?" TRF whispered to Goku. "Why didn't you tell me she got back together with Yamcha?"  
  
"She hasn't! Well, no one told me!" Goku whispered back.  
  
"Damnit, there goes my wedding." TRF muttered.  
  
"OK, I've come to your stupid party. Now where are those ginger- thingy's?" Vegeta strode onto the balcony. "What's this?"  
  
"What? I thought- "  
  
"Shh." Vegeta cut Bulma off. "Kakkarot, you fool have you forgotten about Saiya-jin's acute smell and hearing? You're breathing is extremely loud, you baka."  
  
"Heh, hey Vegeta, Bulma." Goku stood up.  
  
"Hey, Goku, don't give my place away!" TRF hissed.  
  
"You too, brat." Vegeta smirked. "What do you two fools take me for?"  
  
"Oh, hey guys! Me and Goku were just playing hide and seek!" TRF grinned. "Goku, I told you I'd hide!"  
  
"Oh no, you're not squirming your way out of this one." Bulma said. "I thought I told you to stop meddling in my love life?"  
  
"But you don't have one, I was trying to get you one so technically I wasn't meddling in your love life 'cos it didn't exist!" TRF insisted.  
  
"What? Why you little."  
  
"Heh, whats TRF's trying to say, is that we're extremely sorry and we just thought you and Vegeta would like a nice meal and some company as you've both been working so hard." Goku covered.  
  
"Wow, you're a good liar!" TRF whispered.  
  
"Well, I can think of a suitable punishment." Vegeta smirked evilly.  
  
"Hey, Vegeta, you feel that ki?" Goku asked, surprise written all over his face.  
  
"Kakkarot, I am not going to fall for your.impossible!"  
  
"What is it?" Bulma demanded.  
  
"I don't know, it feels like." Goku was cut off as a flash of bright light enveloped Capsule Corp. 


	11. The End (AKA 'Original Title')

Do It Yourself  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to DragonBall Z or its characters. However, TRF (based on an author) is a mixture of my imagination so I do own the rights to her.  
  
A/N: Aw, the very last chapter of 'Do It Yourself'! Wowness, ma first fic I've finished! This is a cause for celebration *gets a tub of banana ice- cream*  
  
  
  
"Trunksy!" TRF squealed, throwing herself into the half-Saiyan's arms.  
  
"Yeah, hi." Trunks said, side-stepping TRF's advances.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Vegeta demanded, glaring daggers at the lavender-haired warrior.  
  
"He's here to marry me!" TRF grinned proudly.  
  
"I sympathise with him." Vegeta smirked.  
  
"I am not marrying you!" Trunks insisted. "Please tell me you got them to.ah.do stuff?"  
  
"Well, technically.no." TRF stated.  
  
"What?" Trunks demanded. "How could you do this? What will I do now? Do you know what this means?"  
  
"That we're only having a small wedding?" TRF asked.  
  
"Ugh!" Trunks roared. "I can't believe you!"  
  
"Well maybe you should've done your own dirty work, instead of getting me to! Ya know, I think I'm going off you." TRF folded her arms stubbornly.  
  
"Good!" Trunks shot back.  
  
"OK, can I ask something?" Bulma spoke up. "What the fuck is going on here?"  
  
"I might aswell tell you, I'm Trunks, your son." Trunks explained.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm secretly married to Roshi." Bulma rolled her eyes.  
  
"You are? Congratulations!" Goku hugged Bulma.  
  
"Goku, I was being sarcastic!"  
  
"Oh." Goku rubbed his neck and laughed. "But really Bulma, this is your and Vegeta's son."  
  
"What? This purple-haired, blue-eyed brat is not my son!" Vegeta insisted.  
  
"Don't insult my son, you!" Bulma poked a finger into Vegeta's chest.  
  
"He is." TRF stated simply. "And I'm from another dimension where you guys are just a TV show."  
  
"Oh, I see whats going on. You're trying to make me paranoid so I'll give up that stash of gingerbread men, right? Not going to happen, brat! I am the Prince of all Saiya-jins, I don't give in!" Vegeta crossed his arms.  
  
"Uh.Vegeta, no one wants your crappy biscuits." TRF informed him.  
  
"They are not 'crappy'!" Vegeta stated. "They are full of sugary goodness!"  
  
"OK TRF, lets go. Now that you've failed at what was possibly the easiest job in."  
  
"Easiest?" TRF yelled. "Getting Vegeta and Bulma to fuck is not easy!"  
  
"What?" Vegeta and Bulma demanded.  
  
"Heh, did I say that out loud? Whoops!" TRF did a Goku-style neck- rub.  
  
"Well it doesn't matter now, anyway! I won't be born. I won't exist! You've just ruined their dimension and mine!" Trunks shouted at TRF.  
  
"Uh guys." Bulma tried to interrupt.  
  
"Me? Ya know what, I think I prefer Vegeta to you! You're a purple- haired moron!"  
  
"Guys." Bulma tried again.  
  
"Ha, that won't faze me, they taught me how to deal with other people's jealousy over my hair at the convention." Trunks smirked.  
  
"Jealousy?" TRF demanded. "I am not jealous of your lilac hair, you lilac-haired freak!"  
  
"Listen, I have something to." Bulma tried another time.  
  
"Well I won't have lilac hair anymore, 'cos I won't exist!" Trunks screamed.  
  
"Wow, this is like TV!" Goku commented, eating the cold food from Vegeta and Bulma's plates..  
  
"Shut up, Trunks! I'm glad you won't exist!" TRF shot back.  
  
"Brats!" Vegeta roared over the noise. "What is this infernal racket?" He demanded once the noise had died down.  
  
"She made me not exist!" Trunks whined.  
  
"Well he said it was easy!" TRF muttered.  
  
"Why are you arguing? The onna and I have already engaged in sexual intercourse, you bakas. She was trying to tell you, but your attention-span of five seconds wouldn't allow it."  
  
"Wh.what?" TRF asked, thinking she had misheard.  
  
"Really? Woohoo!" Trunks cheered. "I mean, that's excellent."  
  
"But.how? I only fixed your dinner an hour ago and you haven't been out of my sight for more than a minute. Damn, that was fast!" TRF commented  
  
"Hmph, as if I need you to help me." Vegeta scowled.  
  
"Well, me and Vegeta kinda got together when I broke it off with Yamcha." Bulma blushed.  
  
"That's great!" Goku said enthusiastically. "But I think Master Roshi will be upset."  
  
"Kakkarot, you truly are worthy of the title 'third class baka'." Vegeta shook his head in disgust.  
  
"Aw, thanks 'Geta!" Goku grinned.  
  
"So, technically it was all thanks to me that you two got together, 'cos I helped you break up with Yamcha!" TRF grinned. "Oh yeah, I'm good."  
  
"Right." Trunks rolled his eyes. "Lets go. I think you've caused enough damage here."  
  
"Bye guys! It's been great!" TRF grinned, waving as Trunks picked her up.  
  
"Bye Bobbelina!" Bulma called, causing TRF to cringe at the name.  
  
"Cya!" Goku waved.  
  
"Hmm, now where did I leave them gingerbread men?" Vegeta mused to himself as he made his way to the Gravity Room.  
  
~*~  
  
"Damn, I am so tired!" TRF rubbed her eyes as she watched Trunks fly away. "I can't believe no time has passed in my world." She shook her head as she began tearing down all her Trunks posters and putting them in the bin. "I am such a fool, to think I helped them get together." She shook her head, as she plastered new posters up around the room. "Ah well, I helped them get together, I can 'help' them break up." TRF smirked as she climbed into bed, kissing each poster as she did so. "'Night Veggie." She muttered, before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.  
  
  
  
A/N2: Duh Dah! See TRF, this is really how you made your transition from a Trunks fan to a Skittles fan, right? I knew it ^_^ 


End file.
